MY STORY
My story started the day I was born – around noon on a Monday in the spring of 1951. I am the third child of 8 children in our family, the oldest of 4 girls. Everything that has happened (good or bad) and everyone who has touched my life since that moment in time has shaped me into the person I am today. For that reason, I am so very grateful – for everyone and everything.
I believe that each of us has a purpose as we each walk our path in life and we can choose to view life positively or negatively – I personally have chosen the positive path . . .
I was baptized and thanks to my Mom attended Sunday school and church, and was confirmed. I was married at a young age and divorced by the time I was 26. I raised two girls as a single mom and helped them financially through college. I lost my brother, who was a year older than me, when he was 44 to congestive heart failure and a week later married for a second time to a Vietnam veteran - a combat marine with PTSD, which also ended up in divorce a few years later. After that, I moved 5 times in 5 years and then finally settled down for 6 years in Iowa where my girls and their families lived with the purpose of concentrating on me and figuring out my purpose in life. During that time, I became re-engaged to my second husband (after he recognized and began taking steps to co-exist with PTSD); I then lost my Dad when he was 80 years old; I had back surgery the next year and the year after moved back home to re-marry my second husband (to whom, I am happy to say, I am still married to today).
When I remarried my second husband, I was able to retire (way before I ever expected it would happen). We moved to the country surrounded by ponds. I got to play in the dirt, plant a butterfly garden, trees and shrubs, pursue my love of photography, experience, enjoy and capture the beauty of God’s world - every day literally waking up to sunrises, watching the sunsets, wild life, and changes in the seasons. We joined a country church where I attended Bible study, joined a women’s group and began getting to know people in the surrounding community. In addition, I got involved in a group for significant others whose husbands are Vietnam veterans with extreme PTSD where the focus is on taking care of our own selves. All was well within me – for the most part, I was comfortable, happy and truly peaceful for what I could remember as the first time in my adult life - that is until my husband decided after 4 ½ years that we needed to move back into town. (He now has some regrets about moving.)
I went kicking and screaming and so very angry and bitter. Eventually, I was able to forgive him, however, I was different inside – sad, lost, empty – wondering what would I do to fill my life now? I developed LPR (laryngopharyngeal reflux, also known as the “silent reflux”) which I believe was mostly due to the stress I had been under throughout that year. My life changed overnight and I became anxious and worried all the time.
At various times throughout my life, I would light a candle to remind me that God was in control of whatever situation I was dealing with – a reminder to turn over the outcome to Him and He's never let me down. I have poured over self-help books, sought counseling, and taken classes to learn better behavior, to make better choices, to become a better person. Yet this time, I was unable to get back on track. We joined a new church; eventually I became active again in Bible studies, even leading one in my home. It was during one of those Bible studies that I felt a passion in me, calling me in the direction God wanted me to go (the reason, I believe, for uprooting me). He never lets us get too comfortable for very long, you know? I had gotten almost 5 years of rest, experiencing peace and joy in which time He was preparing me for the next part of my journey for life.
For a very long time, I felt I was going to write – didn’t know what about – just knew and felt somewhere inside that I would. I journaled, wrote poems, wrote affirmations and Bible verses on recipe cards and prayers for my daily life. I followed Billy Graham, Dr. Robert H. Schuller, Charles Stanley, Ann Graham-Lotz and Norman Vincent Peale. As a part of my daily regiment, I read “The One Year Bible”, “Each Day a New Beginning”, “Putting Your Faith Into Action Today! Living Positively One Day at a Time”, “The Language of Letting Go”, “In Touch” magazine with daily devotionals, “Guideposts”, positive messages from “A Daily Devotional Calendar” with 365 days of possibility slogans, and messages of hope and inspiration from “Touched By an Angel” calendar. I listened to “Hour of Power” and “In Touch” on television and tapes from Charles Stanley, Wayne Dyer, Stephen Covey, Jack Canfield, Tony Robbins, and Norman Vincent Peale, among many others I am unable to recall.
In the mid 90’s, I believe, as a result of what I had gone through in my journey for life, and was going through at the time, I began to get a vision and had thoughts about helping other women – spiritually, emotionally, mentally and physically. I even came up with an acronym inspired by my husband who is a marine: S.E.M.P.E.R.F.I. – (the motto of the U.S. Marine Corps meaning “always faithful” and to which I added: “To thine own self be true”) – Spiritually, Emotionally, Mentally, Physically Evolving, Radiating From Inside . . . because really, everything comes from within.
When I was first confronted with this vision, I found myself thinking "what a good idea - I’d like to do this!" Then self talk took over saying, “You want me to do what? I don’t think so – surely someone else is more qualified than me”. Each time the vision presented itself, I continued to put it aside thinking why me? I don’t have the skills – how would I achieve it – not capable enough – not smart enough – and yes, fear was a BIG factor. Sometimes though, I allowed myself to dream. I wrote down how it would work, what the acronym would be, where I would build it, etc. This went on over the years and I continued to let fear push it away and allowed other things take priority – until now.
I have recently been having visions again – maybe even hearing God’s voice pointing me in the direction He wanted me to go. However, this time I have been prayerfully considering what it is that God wants me to do. I am unable to run from it any more – it has become my new passion – I believe the purpose God made me for and the reason He took me out of my comfort zone two years ago. When God wants you to do something – even when you don’t believe in yourself – there is no escaping from it. I now know that God believes in me and He’s equipping me to carry out His vision for my life. So here is the next part of my journey for life . . . to share my story in the hope that it will make a positive difference in the lives of people who touch my life through this website.
~ mjk 08/27/2016
P.S. The day before I penned this journal entry, I read the following from my “Touched By An Angel” calendar: “God knows how lost you have felt, and He knows how alone you have been, but if you ask Him for direction right here, right now, He will put you on a new road. It may not be easy, but it will be a worthy journey that matters, and it will last for the rest of your life.”